A great email explanation of the Financial Crisis

With everything going on out there in the world, it has become a scary place. On a daily basis I hear about someone else getting laid off or more local companies closing. So, this morning when I received an email explaining the Financial crisis, I finally read an explanation that made some sense. I wish I knew who to give credit to, but I don't. Read on...


Now I get it!!!

Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin . In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed in a ledger (thereby granting her customers loans).

Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar. Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit. He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.

At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.

One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager
(subsequently of course fired due his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar.

However they cannot pay back the debts.

Heidi cannot fulfil her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy.

DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95 %. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80 %.

The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.

The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.

The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers.

Finally an explanation I understand ....

Is anything sacred anymore?

The other evening my husband came home from work with a package that had arrived at his office. As he presented the envelope to me, he said, you won't believe this. My curiosity was peaked and I opened the envelope. In it was a book called "Just say NO, to Circumcision". I had to laugh, since I knew who the sender was, and knew it wasn't a joke. So I have to ask, why is it that once a woman becomes pregnant, it no longer becomes a personal thing? But a common bond, to a few out there,who feel that it is their pregnancy too. Why do so many feel that is okay to push their beliefs or advice on you? Is it that they made so many mistakes during their own parenting, that they now feel that this is their opportunity for a "make-up"? On a daily basis I am asked, are you going to have a natural birth or have an epidural? Will you bottle feed or breast feed? Do you have hemorrhoids or stretch marks? Will you co-sleep or have the babies sleep in another room? Most of the questions are followed up with remedies or suggestions. I do have to say this is the first time the circumcision issue has been brought up, and unfortunately, the closer it comes to when my twin boys arrive, I am sure it won't be the last. So if the people I meet feel that it's okay to express their strong beliefs about my pregnancy and my future decisions, can I express mine right back? Can I ask a man if he was circumcised, and then suggest a book that may make him feel more secure in the gym locker room, if he wasn't? Can I ask the older woman if she has hemorrhoids, and not expect to get smacked across the face? Can I tell the woman in the bad marriage, that she should leave her husband and he's is a cheat? Can I tell the man who is a workaholic, that he should go home and spend quality time with his family, before it's too late? Can I tell another that she lets her daughter wear her skirts too short? I don't think so....I just wish people would think twice before they speak. Is that too much to ask?!? Apparently so.

I would love to give all the people out there, who have made inappropriate comments, a wonderful gift. It's a great book called, "Emily Post's Etiquette.

Potty Training made easy?

Is it possible to make potty training easy? I am not sure. I think I just got lucky. Several months ago, I started introducing the "potty” to my daughter. At first she thought it was a great new toy. She’d dance around the house with her pink Baby Bjorn Potty displayed proudly on her head. After that I figured she wasn’t quite ready and to be honest neither was I. Of course, I didn’t want her using the potty and then placing it on her head, so we took a break. Several weeks went by after the “potty hat” experience; I decided to introduce her to the video “Potty Power”. I had heard great things about the video, and had high hopes that after watching the video, she’d show a little more of an interest in sitting on the potty rather then wearing the potty. Well, I can see how the video would be a great learning tool, but for my daughter, it became a great dance video. She loved the songs and wanted to watch the video and dance to the music. So, again we went on to take another break. Unlike many moms, I still was not too concerned. My life is stressful enough that I figured, why get stressed over something I knew she’d get the hang of eventually. So a few more weeks went by when I came across a book called “Toilet Training in Less Than a Day” for sale on amazon.com, used for $1.50. For $1.50 how could I go wrong? Well, straight off, I could tell that the book, originally published in 1974, was a little off from what we do in the year 2009. I did find the premise of teaching a doll a good idea. So the next day, I rummaged through my daughter’s toy box and found her doll that could feed & wet, and what do you know it worked! We sat the doll on the potty, gave the doll her bottle and watched her go. So after 5 or 6 times, my daughter looked at me and said “my turn”. She sat down, took a swig out of her juice cup and looked down but couldn’t quite figure out it why the pee pee didn’t come out immediately. It didn’t stop her though, she sat & sat, and drank & drank and all of a sudden it happened. She was so proud of herself and believe it or not, that was it. I am sure the videos, and having her be my "toilet paper helper" was a big part of it as well, but I have to believe it was just timing. We are about 3 weeks into it now, with only one accident. My husband and I still look at each other with delight each time she goes. So, I am glad that I didn’t stress or fall into the pressure of what the other kids her age were doing. I am glad that I just let her be…so far, so good!

I thought I could, but I can't...

I woke up this morning by horrible screams coming from my daughter’s bedroom. As I waddled down the hall as fast as I could, I discovered that my daughter was in the thick of a very bad nightmare. As I tired to console her, she just kept shaking her head saying “No, no” when suddenly her eyes fluttered open and she looked up widely at me a said “I want pancakes”! So at 6:30am we were off. Once her belly was full and she was snuggled in nicely on the family room couch, I attempted to something I have never done while she has been awake. I was going to take a shower. Some may think this is strange, that at 2 1/2 years into the game I have never taken a shower while she has been up. Yes, it may seem odd. I get up before she does and prepare for the day. You have to understand that my daughter loves to have fun…or as some may say get into trouble when my back is turned. This is the girl, who scales the staircase, dangles from the chandelier & pretends she is surfing off the back of the reclining chair. So yes, I typically don’t take my eyes off of her for very long. As I tuned the TV to Sesame Street, I was in awe that she suddenly went into a trance like state. It was a bittersweet moment. All this time I had limited her TV viewing because I didn’t want her to become a couch potato, but yet at the same time I wanted just 15 minutes of “me time”. Could this be…that she actually would get sucked into the horrible TV and just sit and watch? As I let out a sigh of relief, I asked if she wanted to lie in my bed while I shower. She looked up at me, rolled her eyes and with the flick of her little hand said “mommy, go already”. So I hoped in the shower and within less them 4 minutes, her head pops into the shower and states, that she needed to give Chi Chi, her battery operated toy puppy a bath. I knew this would not be good. Just as fast as the shower began, it was coming to a quick end. Full of soap and bubbles I hoped out, to find the tub getting filled with hot water and Chi Chi half submerged in the water. As I looked around the bathroom, I discovered that every towel was now on the floor, because she was cleaning, and the bag of cotton balls were thrown everywhere. Apparently her & Chi Chi had a “snowball fight” and she was hiding in the laundry basket. So what it comes down to, is that I thought I could but I just can’t…. leave her alone yet!

How to Prepare for Baby 2 & 3?

So many people keep asking me what are my plans once the twins arrive? I think it is really hard to come up with a plan, because I just don’t know. Do I go from having a part time babysitter to a full time nanny? Do I get a housekeeper to come once a week? Do I send my 2-1/2year old to preschool? Or do I just go crazy? I have struggled with all these thoughts, plus what the added expense means to my family and me. I struggle with the thoughts of having a stranger in my house, and ultimately feel uncomfortable with the invasiveness of it all. I realize that I am resistant to help and like things just the way they are. So like everything, I just have to play it day by day.

Even though I am not sure how I will manage day to day life once the boys arrive. I know I must prepare. And prepare is what I’ve done.

Here are a few things I have done to prepare for Baby A & Baby B:

1. Figure out how to order my groceries online & have them delivered. One less errand to run!
2. Make a ton of meals and freeze them, so on those crazy days it will be one less thing to think about.
3. Work the neighborhood and meet the local teenagers who can possibly baby-sit on a whim’s notice.
4. Join an online mom group. So I can log in on those days where I just can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
5. Make my daughter feel special everyday. So when the boys are born her little world is not rocked too much!
6. Have small wrapped gifts (the dollar bin at Target is fantastic) for my daughter, for those days when she just a little something extra to keep her occupied.
7. Play “laundry” with my daughter. A great learning tool and gets a project done. I mean how many 2-1/2 years olds can sort darks from light! Maybe when the boys arrive, she’ll still be able to sort while I am holding a tyke or two. I know that’s nuts…but why not dream?

I know I may not be in reality yet. I know things will change dramatically and at times be incredibly overwhelming, but I figure if I plan for the worst, it can only get better, right?

Aren’t you glad that you are not having 8?

Lately, wherever I go, people ask when am I due. Yes, I am rather large so my typical response is, “I’m having twins”. The funny thing is, the conversation inevitably turns to, “Aren’t you glad it’s not 8?” or, “What's your thoughts on the Octomom?”. I am like most people, who don’t quite get it. As a mom of a 2-1/2 year old, and expecting twins, there are times I feel overwhelmed with how I can manage. Not only manage but find the balance between the newborns, continue to make my daughter feel special and not neglect her. So it is hard for me to imagine how someone with no spouse can possibly find balance for all 14. From what I’ve heard, the Octomom, Nadya Suleman, who has no job or income, plans to survive on student loans and food stamps. Many say she may be depending on a huge book or television deal or the kindness of strangers and corporations. I find it hard to imagine that someone could actually depend on the kindness of strangers and corporations, especially with such a backlash against her. But as I was waiting in line at the paint store, a woman turned around and asked when I was due. I gave my typical response and of course the Octomom came up, but this time with a surprising point of view. This woman felt that Nadya Suleman is a blessing to the world, and has brought 8 more gifts to the universe. She & her husband were even planning on sending $5,000 to Ms. Suleman. So, I guess that’s the great thing about this world; we don’t quite have to agree with everything or necessarily understand what goes on in people’s minds, but there is always someone who is willing to lend a hand or a perspective. I came across this Squidoo Lens that pretty much sums it up:
http://www.squidoo.com/peopleshouldhavealicensetohavechildren

I am HOT!!!

The things that happen during pregnancy; some things are obvious and some are not. Some things you are told and many things you never hear about until they happen to you.
So why oh why did I forget about the dreaded hot flashes from the last time? Is it that I am hotter because I am pregnant with twins? Is it because I am carrying two boys? Who knows! All I know for sure it that I am tired of sticking to the seat when I get up, tired of feeling like a sweaty pig and tired of worrying about whether I am freezing out the rest of my family because I am so terribly hot. All I know is that it is almost over…at least until menopause.

We LOVE Dr. Seuss!

With Dr. Seuss' birthday coming up tomorrow March 2, it is only right to pay tribute to the wonderful stories that exist today. And when you really think about it, what child doesn’t grow up with at least one Dr. Seuss book in their house? The kids love the silly characters and the rhymes. I know my daughter does. Each evening, one of the most cherished moments my daughter & I spend together, is right before bedtime when we snuggle up to a great goodnight book. “The Cat & the Hat”, and “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish” have become a few of my daughter’s favorite reads. In honor of his birthday tomorrow we are planning on making some of the recipes below. I am sure it will be a blast.

Wiggly Fish
“One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish” inspired this snack. Prepare several different colors of Jello according to package directions and pour each flavor into a shallow pan. Use a fish shaped cookie cutter to cut the Jello into fish shapes. (If you don’t have a fish shaped cookie cutter you could also just cut fish shapes with a knife.) You can also add small pieces of fruit to the Jello mixture before it cools. This is a great way to sneak an extra serving of fruit into your child’s diet.

Pink Ink for The Yink
The Yink in “One Fish, Two Fish” love to drink pink ink. Make your own version by combining a few strawberries (either fresh, or frozen and thawed) and some milk in a blender. Add a few drops of red food coloring if the “ink” isn’t pink enough.

A Fruity Hat For The Cat
Whip up a batch of silver dollar pancakes and cut up some fresh strawberries. Grab some whipped cream and let the kids assemble the Cat’s hat by stacking pancakes, and strawberries on top of each other using the whipped cream as “glue”.

While looking for some celebration ideas, I came across a fabulous Squidoo Lens that is worth checking out for more recipes and party ideas. It’s called the ABCs of Dr. Seuss.

http://www.squidoo.com/theABCsofDr-Seuss

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!

I think she's got it!

I think my daughter may have turned the corner onto bigger and brighter things! At least in my world. No wet diapers at all today. Each time on the potty. Even better yet, she called me from her crib a few minutes ago to ask to use the potty. She hoped out of the crib, stripped down and planted herself down onto the little potty and out came a poop!!!! I know it is strange but it is what I've been dreaming about...the day she could poop on the potty. Much less of a mess until I stared at the perfectly swirled brown pile on the bottom of the tiny potty. That was a little icky...thank goodness for Clorox wipes!!! Could this mean the end of the tape...dare I dream?

Pack your bags and be ready to go...

Yikes! At 3o weeks pregnant with twins, I was a little surprised when my doctor said the boys may be making their appearance sooner rather then later. But of course at this point I shouldn't be surprised, nothing has really gone the way the books have said they would. I was told that I would have fatigue and need to take afternoon naps or even the dreaded possibility of bed rest. Not so in my case, if you watch me you'd think I had taken speed. As my husband glances at me from the couch, he begs me to stop because I am making him tired by just watching me. As I frantically try to accomplish everything that a normal person would do in a week into a 2-hour time frame, I just can't stop. I have spent evenings up late labeling things that have no business being labeled. For example my husband's workbench in the garage has been organized and dusted with each section perfectly marked. I know it will become a joke once his buddies see it and the labeling of his stuff will haunt him forever, but do I care. Not at all! I enjoyed every second of the cleaning process. My daughter's playroom, now proudly displays large white labels on everything, giant white Rubbermaid bins, all clearly marked, Puzzles, Crayons, Stickers, and Crafts. As if a two and a half year old could actually read or better yet, put the items back in the correct containers. But what do I care, I feel as if I am accomplishing something useful and for some reason I CAN'T control the strong urge to label. The boys clothing has been washed, folded and of course placed in little baskets, marked oneies's, burp cloths, bibs, swaddle blankets and booties. So am I ready for the boys to be born? The answer quite simply is NO! I don't have any names picked out and there are still more items that need to be labeled. Off to the pantry I go...

Excuse you...

I love my daughter, that's for sure. Everyday she simple amazes me and I have learned to see the world through her eyes. To be two and a half, have no worries about what is politically correct or to say the simplest things that have the most profound meaning, is an incredible place to be. I have been working on manners with my daughter, just the simple things like basic greetings, to say "please" and "thank you". I am so impressed each time she has repeated something I've taught her and am even more in awe when she actually uses each phrase in the correct context. I personally want to jump up and down and do the happy dance. Lately, I have been teaching her how and when to say, "excuse me". Sometimes I have to wonder if she is actually getting it, or if I am just an over obsessed first time mom trying to do everything perfectly. But the other day I realized that all my efforts have really worked. She now knows to say, "excuse me" if I am talking and she wants to interrupt. She knows how to say, "excuse me" if she burps. She may have mastered it a little too well...because the other morning we were waiting in line at Starbucks and a man bumped into the two of us. She looked up so innocently and said "Excuse You"!

Elmo told me to do it!

I've always thought that my daughter was an easy child, but the more & more I am with other children I realize that she's not as easy as what I had believed. She is an active & adventurous girl. I mean really, how many little girls scale the exterior of a spiral staircase, get to the top and yell "mommy, catch me, I am going to jump"? Yes, she did jump and fortunately, I was there to catch her. Not a simple feat considering I am pregnant with twins. When I reprimanded her for her actions, she looked at me quite plainly and simply explained that Elmo told her to do it. Well, needless to say she & Elmo both received the longest time out ever. My next clue was when I was cooking dinner and I heard "Mommy, look I'm swinging". I couldn't quite figure out what she could be swinging from, until I entered the dining room and there she was hanging from the chandelier. Needless to say another time out was given and the chandelier was replaced with a different fixture the next day. So I came to the conclusion that she's not easy, she just has good sleep habits. Naps everyday at 1pm, bedtime at 7pm and awake at 8:30am. People I tell think this is a crazy amount of sleep, but if you met my daughter you'd realize she really wears herself out. So now that I am 8 months pregnant with twins, I can't physically keep up the pace. Everyday I try to figure out ways to entertain her in a sedentary way. As I rack my brain on a daily basis to find a solution on what could preoccupy my active daughter in a passive way, I think I've finally found my dream solution... crayons, watercolor & finger paints!

When my two and a half year old daughter got her hands into the bright and colorful finger paints for the first time, her face lit up with a delightful smile! She was hooked on art and color, from the moment that her hands started spreading the magical colors around. Finger painting, watercolor paints and crayons have really made a difference! She loves to work with the textures and colors of the finger paints, and the painting process has seemed to open a whole new part of her brain. I think all children should definitely be introduced to crayons and finger paints. It is now a battle for me to pull her away from her "art" instead of having to worry about which light fixture she is swinging from. And that's a "battle" I'll happily deal with!

My daughter is a climber!

I've heard many parents speak of their daredevil children. How they climb, jump and swing from anything available. I can totally relate. At 7 months old, my daughter who could not even walk, figured out a way to jump up & down in her crib and swing a leg over the side rail. I remember panicking and calling her pediatrician. When I told him what my daughter was up to, he replied, “Well, that’s just not normal”. Gee thanks bud, that’s exactly what a first time mom wants to hear! After researching every blog and every mom site on the Internet, I found the solution. A crib tent. Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like. A giant white mesh tent that comes to a dome like top, with a zipper that secures it shut. I couldn't believe I was actually contemplating purchasing what looked like a jail for by beautiful darling baby. But as I looked over at her, one leg hanging out of the crib, it was either order the crib tent or risk having her fall out and suffer a broken limb. I can’t say enough about the crib tent, it has worked wonderfully and I even ordered a travel crib tent for our pack in play. Now at 2 1/2 years old, many ask when am I going to put her in a toddler bed? I don’t know the answer to that. All I just know, is that as long as she’s happy in the crib I have no need to rock the boat!

Hello there Horse Face:)

Why is there such a double standard as to what is acceptable to say to a pregnant woman? If I said half of things that I have heard, I would have been accused of being a crazed, hormonal pregnant lady. So why do people feel that it is okay to say how huge I am, how large my butt has become or even better yet, that I look as if I am going burst, is the doctor sure it’s just twins? Is it me or does this all seem a little rude? I would like to think that it’s a small population of people in this world who feel that it is their right to vocalize whatever they feel. But lately in my outings, it seems as if everyone’s manners have just gone down the drain and they all have a bad case of verbal diarrhea. So here it is right back at you all, everything that I’d like to say but am too polite to follow up with. To the man who addressed me with “Hello Big Mama”. I’d like to say, “Why hello there horse face”. To the woman who followed me around at a cocktail party saying, “You look like you are going to burst”. I’d like to say, “Your face looks like it’s going to fall off, you should have gotten a second opinion”. To the woman who said to me during circle time “Can you actually get up, you look gigantic and your butt is so big, are you carrying a baby back there?” I’d like to say, “The anorexic support group meets every Wednesday evening”. Of course I can’t say what I am truly thinking, nor will I ever. It just brings me pure bliss to fantasize about what would happen if I actually followed through with my thoughts. One thing I know for sure, if I ever did address anyone so rudely, I would be accused of being a hormonal maniac and a crazed pregnant lady. But, at least I’d have an excuse. I wonder what theirs is?????

I use packaging tape on my daughter!

I love being a mom but at I times, I wonder what my life has become. This thought entered my mind the other evening when I heard my daughter laughing & playing in her crib at 9pm. Once I opened the door, I new instantly something was totally amiss. There she was naked and covered in her own poo, announcing proudly that she had “painted” a picture of our family on the wall. As she happily showed me her work, I started assessing the situation. It was bad, very BAD. Both arms and legs were completely covered in poop. Almost as if she had gone to a spa and had a lovely clay masked applied top to bottom, but whom am I kidding. It was ugly. Not to mentioned that every square inch of her crib was no longer white or pink, but was replaced by the color brown. How could my sweet, beautiful blue-eyed daughter who always says please & thank you do something so unsanitary & gross? I immediately called my husband for back up, interrupting his quality down time with the TV. All I remember is him repeating, “Who does this?” “What is wrong with her?” as he dry heaved and gagged in the background. His job was to bathe her and mine was to well, scrub every inch of her crib and room. 2 1/2 hours later I was done. So the footed pajamas, with the feet cut off, placed on backwards and her diaper snugly secured with packaging tape, is now our nightly routine. Do I feel bad that I tape my daughter up every night? Well yes. Do I wonder if I will scar her for life? Absolutely! Or that she will grow up with a strange bondage fetish. Of course I do! But do I now sleep soundly without having to dread another 2 hr clean up? You beat I do! And if she grows up with issues from this taping experience, well I guess that is, what therapy is for. Right?!?!