Sunday, August 23, 2009

What's wrong with me????

I recently went to dinner with a good friend of mine and half way through dinner she decided that I needed serious therapy. Normally, I would have been insulted, but I really respect my friend and maybe she was on to something. So the next day I discussed it with my husband and he declared "yes, that there is something wrong with me"! I sat there with my mouth wide open...almost speechless, but much to my husband's dismay not entirely speechless! So what is my problem? Well I can't let go, I am a helicopter mom, I can't say "no", I keep taking on new projects and the list goes on and on. First off, my daughter starts preschool on Thurs. I have called the school and almost canceled her enrollment. Changed my mind, found a different preschool and signed her up. I changed my mind once again and decided she was going to the original school. I then made special drop off and pick up arrangements to fit into the twins schedule. I have been crying for weeks that she is leaving. Left the purchasing of her school supplies until the very end, just in case I change my mind again. Now that I am committed (at least for today) I volunteered to be the classroom head mom. So when I told my husband I wanted to be classroom mom, he asked me if that was a really smart thing to do? Didn't I have enough going on? Yes, I have a full plate. I have a small import business, my custom art business, my blog, my baby product review site, I am a co-chair for the San Diego Chapter of St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, I have 3 kids, a husband, do an endless amount of laundry, grocery shopping & cleaning. To top it off last week I felt as if I was running an at home daycare. Last week I watched my kids, another 3yr old and a 6 month old! So why, oh why can't I let go? Why can't I just be a mom.That is really all I want to do and it should be fulfilling enough, right? Every time I take on a new project, in the back of my mind I know I shouldn't, but I just can't stop. So maybe I do need therapy after all. Well, at least to learn to use the word "NO" and be okay with it!

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