10x's in 3 1/2 hours!

I really haven't found time yet to get to the gym. I have gone twice since the twins were born and I keep beating myself up, with that fact that I still can't fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans. As I found myself exhausted, and my arms sore and my quads feeling like they had gotten a workout, I started to wonder if maybe all this "mom" stuff that I am doing is actually contributing to my weight loss. So as I thought about my day, I came to the revalation that in a period of 3 1/2 hours I had put the twins in and out of the car 10 times. The reality is that I had picked up the 20lb carseats with my 14lb boys tucked safetly inside 20 times total and that's not including chasing my 3 year old. That's madness! Now how could that possibly be, well I'll tell you...
8:45am- Put all three kids in the car. (1)
9:10am- Take all three kids out of the car. Walk my daughter to class. (2)
9:20am- Put the boys back in the car. (3)
9:50am- Take the boys out of the car. Visit my husband at work, show off the twins. (4)
10:40am- Put the boys back in the car. Drive to the doctors office. (5)
10:50am-Take the boys out. Visit the doctor for their check up. (6)
11:30 am- Put the boys back in the car. Drive to my daughter's school. (7)
11:45am- Take the boys out. Get my daughter. (8)
12pm- Put all the kids back in the car. Drive home (9)
12:15pm- Home, take all the kids out! (10)

Wow, now wonder I am tired!!!!

I can't let go....

Yesterday my daughter's Fall Preschool tuition bill arrived. I think a majority of Mom's out there would be jumping for joy with the prospect of having 3-5hours of free time. I on the other hand, burst into tears of the reality of "missing" my daughter for that long. As I read the list of supplies that my daughter would need, I felt a lump in my throat and the tears started rolling. My husband looked at me with pity and I started to tell him all the reasons my daughter did not need to go to school. We reached a compromise that she would go in the fall and it she didn't like it I could pull her out. I was overcome with relief...but what if she likes it???? What will I do!! I know I have the twins but she's still my baby:(

One handed wonder.

I am always amazed at the things I can do under pressure. Lately, I have mastered doing everything with one hand. I can email, cook, make bottles, clean and even help my daughter go potty all while holding a baby! Now if I could only figure out how to feed both babies with one hand I'd be all set.

It's all about choices...

Overnight, I became a mom of three. Going from a mom of one, to a mom of three has been challenging. I was prepared for the fatigue, the constant diapers, burping and laundry but what I wasn't prepared for was the emotional guilt I feel each time I have to chose which child I am going to attend to first. I was advised to go to the oldest child first because she would remember what you do. I have tried my best to give each one the attention they need and in general everyone gets my attention when they need it most. At times I feel everything is just a little too methodical and not spontaneous enough. I go from feeding, changing, burping one baby to the next and then running after my oldest. There isn't enough cuddle time during the day for the babies. It makes me sad to think back to when my oldest was born and how I spent every minute of the day snuggling and fussing over her. I feel that I don't give the twins enough individual time. And for me I am guilt ridden each time I have to choose who to feed first. Of course I go to the one who is crying the loudest and as I feed one, I try to rub the other's head. But it breaks my heart each time one is crying and the other is looking up at me with his big eyes, in despair. As I snuggle & feed the one, I am always am looking at the clock trying to figure how much time it will take me before I can get to the other. This is not how it should be, but it's my reality. I know I am doing my best, but at times I feel it's just not enough and once I add my daughter in the mix, it just makes me feel even worse. I know that this will be a constant battle for me. One that I will need to continually work on. It's very hard to except, but I do get that it is all about the choices...

Little men, big men, they're all the same!

Today, as I was changing one of my son's I heard the loudest, most obnoxious sounding fart. I looked around because I thought for sure my husband must have come home and was somewhere in the nursery. As I turned my back to see where the sound had come from, I realized that fart came from the inside of the crib. How could my little man, a whole 5 1/2lbs create such a loud manly man fart sound? I don't recall my daughter ever doing that then or even now. So I guess it's just a "guy thing" and little men & big men are all the same!

It's all about the timing.

Many have told me that I am a "Type A" personality. I never really thought about it, until today. I am still in the hospital from having my twin boys via csection and will be here until Sat afternoon. I think a normal person would be sleeping while their babies are sleeping or doing anything but what I have been doing. But I am not normal, I now realize. What have I been doing? Well, in between visitors, I have moved my bed...it needed to be closer to the electrical outlet, so I can plug my laptop in. I organized my room and sorted the babies clothes. Who does this 2 days after having twins and in a hospital, no less?!? Emailed a few friends, arranged a photographer to come to the house in 2 weeks to photo our happy family, planned the Easter Meal menu...like I'm really going to cook or even grocery shop, but it's a nice thought! Signed my 2 1/2 year old daughter up for a trial ballet class for this upcoming Tues. Now really what am I thinking???? And somehow managed to get the boys on a 3 hour feed schedule, at least for the day. Yes, I am a little wacko and believe I am officially a "Type A", but I would like to rationalize it all as being super organized and having just good timing...should I just call the therapist now?!?

What do you do all day?

Now that I am pregnant with twins and it is becoming closer towards the end of my pregnancy, my doctor has put me on moderate bed rest. What is moderate bed rest? Well, I haven't quite figured that out. I took it as, 1 free pass a day to escape from the house, but apparently that's not the right interpretation. The hardest part for me is just trying to keep still. It is not because I am too uncomfortable to stay in one place, it's just that there is still too much to do before the boy's arrive. So as I wander around the house trying to figure out what needs to be done, deep down I know I should be in bed, but I just can't stay put. As I drive around town doing all my errands, I wonder what my doctor would say. I don't think she would be thrilled. So many people say "oh you must be SO DONE", but quite honestly, I really wish I had another 4-5 months to go. Others say it must be so nice to be catching up on some good Oprah shows, but I haven't watched one yet. A few say how nice it must be to have some down time to read a few good books, but I haven't made a dent in the stack of books on my nightstand. What am I doing? I am working like a madwoman, trying to come up with names for the boys, preparing meals, doing laundry, ironing, running errands, trying to play and be an active part of my daughter's life. I know I must stop. I keep getting reprimanded by my daughter's sitter and my husband. I really don't mean to be causing them so much angst. I know I will look back and think how I should have taken advantage of the mandatory down time...but I have never been one to just relax and veg out, so it is extremely difficult to follow the doctors orders, even though I know I should. Today, I have decided that as soon as I finish my work project, pick names for the boys and paint art for their room, I will stay in bed. Unfortunately, I have a feeling the boys will be born by then!

Is anything sacred anymore?

The other evening my husband came home from work with a package that had arrived at his office. As he presented the envelope to me, he said, you won't believe this. My curiosity was peaked and I opened the envelope. In it was a book called "Just say NO, to Circumcision". I had to laugh, since I knew who the sender was, and knew it wasn't a joke. So I have to ask, why is it that once a woman becomes pregnant, it no longer becomes a personal thing? But a common bond, to a few out there,who feel that it is their pregnancy too. Why do so many feel that is okay to push their beliefs or advice on you? Is it that they made so many mistakes during their own parenting, that they now feel that this is their opportunity for a "make-up"? On a daily basis I am asked, are you going to have a natural birth or have an epidural? Will you bottle feed or breast feed? Do you have hemorrhoids or stretch marks? Will you co-sleep or have the babies sleep in another room? Most of the questions are followed up with remedies or suggestions. I do have to say this is the first time the circumcision issue has been brought up, and unfortunately, the closer it comes to when my twin boys arrive, I am sure it won't be the last. So if the people I meet feel that it's okay to express their strong beliefs about my pregnancy and my future decisions, can I express mine right back? Can I ask a man if he was circumcised, and then suggest a book that may make him feel more secure in the gym locker room, if he wasn't? Can I ask the older woman if she has hemorrhoids, and not expect to get smacked across the face? Can I tell the woman in the bad marriage, that she should leave her husband and he's is a cheat? Can I tell the man who is a workaholic, that he should go home and spend quality time with his family, before it's too late? Can I tell another that she lets her daughter wear her skirts too short? I don't think so....I just wish people would think twice before they speak. Is that too much to ask?!? Apparently so.

I would love to give all the people out there, who have made inappropriate comments, a wonderful gift. It's a great book called, "Emily Post's Etiquette.