She's hardcore....

I have my very own personal trainer, and it's awesome. The best part is that I don't pay her, she always wants to be by my side and she's hardcore! Who is this person? Well, It's my three-year-old daughter! When I have the twins in the double Bob stroller, my daughter likes to sit on the front. If I am running, well maybe not running, considering I am pushing a 100lbs and people are passing me as they are walking by. My daughter sits in front, yelling, "Faster mom, you can do it". "FASTER...I said FASTER"!!!! Yes, she's a tough one. The other day I was about to collapse from the run and when I told her I couldn't run anymore because my lungs were burning she said, "feel the burn, now RRUUNNNNNNN"! Yes, she keeps me going...

What's wrong with me????

I recently went to dinner with a good friend of mine and half way through dinner she decided that I needed serious therapy. Normally, I would have been insulted, but I really respect my friend and maybe she was on to something. So the next day I discussed it with my husband and he declared "yes, that there is something wrong with me"! I sat there with my mouth wide open...almost speechless, but much to my husband's dismay not entirely speechless! So what is my problem? Well I can't let go, I am a helicopter mom, I can't say "no", I keep taking on new projects and the list goes on and on. First off, my daughter starts preschool on Thurs. I have called the school and almost canceled her enrollment. Changed my mind, found a different preschool and signed her up. I changed my mind once again and decided she was going to the original school. I then made special drop off and pick up arrangements to fit into the twins schedule. I have been crying for weeks that she is leaving. Left the purchasing of her school supplies until the very end, just in case I change my mind again. Now that I am committed (at least for today) I volunteered to be the classroom head mom. So when I told my husband I wanted to be classroom mom, he asked me if that was a really smart thing to do? Didn't I have enough going on? Yes, I have a full plate. I have a small import business, my custom art business, my blog, my baby product review site, I am a co-chair for the San Diego Chapter of St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, I have 3 kids, a husband, do an endless amount of laundry, grocery shopping & cleaning. To top it off last week I felt as if I was running an at home daycare. Last week I watched my kids, another 3yr old and a 6 month old! So why, oh why can't I let go? Why can't I just be a mom.That is really all I want to do and it should be fulfilling enough, right? Every time I take on a new project, in the back of my mind I know I shouldn't, but I just can't stop. So maybe I do need therapy after all. Well, at least to learn to use the word "NO" and be okay with it!

10x's in 3 1/2 hours!

I really haven't found time yet to get to the gym. I have gone twice since the twins were born and I keep beating myself up, with that fact that I still can't fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans. As I found myself exhausted, and my arms sore and my quads feeling like they had gotten a workout, I started to wonder if maybe all this "mom" stuff that I am doing is actually contributing to my weight loss. So as I thought about my day, I came to the revalation that in a period of 3 1/2 hours I had put the twins in and out of the car 10 times. The reality is that I had picked up the 20lb carseats with my 14lb boys tucked safetly inside 20 times total and that's not including chasing my 3 year old. That's madness! Now how could that possibly be, well I'll tell you...
8:45am- Put all three kids in the car. (1)
9:10am- Take all three kids out of the car. Walk my daughter to class. (2)
9:20am- Put the boys back in the car. (3)
9:50am- Take the boys out of the car. Visit my husband at work, show off the twins. (4)
10:40am- Put the boys back in the car. Drive to the doctors office. (5)
10:50am-Take the boys out. Visit the doctor for their check up. (6)
11:30 am- Put the boys back in the car. Drive to my daughter's school. (7)
11:45am- Take the boys out. Get my daughter. (8)
12pm- Put all the kids back in the car. Drive home (9)
12:15pm- Home, take all the kids out! (10)

Wow, now wonder I am tired!!!!

I can't let go....

Yesterday my daughter's Fall Preschool tuition bill arrived. I think a majority of Mom's out there would be jumping for joy with the prospect of having 3-5hours of free time. I on the other hand, burst into tears of the reality of "missing" my daughter for that long. As I read the list of supplies that my daughter would need, I felt a lump in my throat and the tears started rolling. My husband looked at me with pity and I started to tell him all the reasons my daughter did not need to go to school. We reached a compromise that she would go in the fall and it she didn't like it I could pull her out. I was overcome with relief...but what if she likes it???? What will I do!! I know I have the twins but she's still my baby:(

My personal best!

So it was off to Mommy & Me Spanish class this morning. Sometimes I get up and am so tired, I wonder how will I ever survive the day. Thanks to a lot of caffeine and the fact that I have no other choice, I just continue moving forward. So this morning, being a little more tired then usual, somehow I managed to get all the kids in the car in less then 15 minutes and made it to my daughter's class only 5 minutes late. Yes, that was my personal best so far. Now being the overachiever that I am, I decided to make a game out of it, because if you can't have fun in life, what's the point! My goal is to see how fast I can get the kids in & out of the car, to and from without any tears. Can I do it in 10 minutes and make it to class on time? We'll see...

It's all doable...

I know people think I am a loon! It has now become a joke when people come over and notice that everything is labeled and sorted. Every basket in the nursery is labeled; burp clothes, onesies, mittens, booties, diapers & wipes. The toy room is organized beyond belief and my daughter's room is the same. I don't even want to discuss what I've done in the garage...yes, call the therapist NOW! I really don't know when this obsession of mine started. I just know that is has become worse and worse over the years. If you ask anyone in my family if they ever expected this behavior or odd habit from me, they would say absolutely NOT. You have to understand that my entire time throughout high school and college, I was unable to open a blind or a window in my bedroom. Why, you may ask? Well, it's because I was a sloppy teenager and never hung anything or put anything away. So it was impossible to make it to the windows without stepping on something and I just never cared. So I have gone from one extreme to the next. Can you say MANIC?!?

I am finding that this craziness has finally served a purpose. Because of this crazy skill, I am finding each day manageable. Everything I do is very methodical, but it is the only way I am surviving. I have my boys on a 3hr feeding schedule and fortunately my daughter's schedule seems to fit right in. This morning, I woke up at 7am and showered. From there the craziness began. I fed, burped and changed my one son at 7:45am, did the next one at 8:20am, got my daughter out of bed at 8:45am. Bathed and got her ready. Had the whole crew downstairs and ready for breakfast by 9:15am. Decided I needed a Starbucks run by 10am. Packed each one, one by one into the car, drove to the Starbucks drive thru by 10:20am, was home by 10:55am. Did the 11am feed for the boys, followed by tummy time with each one, all while helping my daughter color and paint. Put the boys down for a nap. Made pigs in a blanket with my daughter for lunch, read to her in my bed, got her ready for her nap. Had her down by 1:20pm. Put a load of laundry in, folded the stuff in the dryer. Started the 2pm fed for my boys. Put them on their playmats for some stimulation, folded more laundry. Put the boys in their swings. Wiped down the kitchen, called a friend. I got my daughter out of bed from her nap at 4:15pm. Read her a book, put a Leap Frog video in the DVD for her to watch while I did the 5pm fed. At 5:30pm, my husband arrived, he made my daughter dinner, while I cleaned up. We all sat down to eat, my daughter with her grilled cheese and my husband & I with a meal that I made during yesterday's nap time. My husband gave my daughter a bath while I played with the twins. We switched off and I read my daughter a book and put her in bed at 7pm. Had 30 minutes of alone time my my husband. Started getting the twins bath ready. With the help of my husband washed one twin at 7:45pm and the other at 7:50pm. Did the 8pm feed. Had both boys down by 8:40pm. Folded more laundry. With my husband relaxing on the couch watching some nasty UFC fight, I retreated to the bedroom for some sleep. My husband did the 11pm feed so I could sleep and I just finished the 2am feed. So yes, it's all doable. Thank goodness for my organization skills because I'd never make it through the day. I guess a higher power stepped in and made me this crazy structured freak because if it wasn't for that I'd never survive! Well, back to bed I go...because it all begins again in a few hours:)

The things I love!

Overnight I went from having one child to suddenly having three children. I have found that there have been certain things that have made each day more & more manageable.

I am grateful for the friends who have brought me meals. It is such a small thing but it has touched me in such a profound way. Every few days I "hit a wall". As if someone is looking out for me, it always seems that those are the days that someone kindly rings the bell with a wonderful meal for me & my family.

The gifts of diapers have been another one of my favorite things to receive. If you would have asked me what the best gift ever would be, I highly doubt in the past I would have responded "Pampers Swaddlers". But at this point in my life, diapers are better then diamonds! I just can't get enough:)

Whom ever invented the premade swaddle blankets, I salute you! Those swaddle blankets have helped ensure many good night sleeps or at least decent sleep in 3hr intervals. To me the swaddle blankets are a must have.

I love the Wubbanub. What is a Wubbanub? Well, it's a pacifier attached to a small stuffed animal. The stuffed animal adds just enough weight so if the twins spit out the pacifier, it just doesn't go very far. Another life saver, especially in the middle of the night!

So these are just a few of my favorite things...at least for today!

It's all about the timing.

Many have told me that I am a "Type A" personality. I never really thought about it, until today. I am still in the hospital from having my twin boys via csection and will be here until Sat afternoon. I think a normal person would be sleeping while their babies are sleeping or doing anything but what I have been doing. But I am not normal, I now realize. What have I been doing? Well, in between visitors, I have moved my bed...it needed to be closer to the electrical outlet, so I can plug my laptop in. I organized my room and sorted the babies clothes. Who does this 2 days after having twins and in a hospital, no less?!? Emailed a few friends, arranged a photographer to come to the house in 2 weeks to photo our happy family, planned the Easter Meal menu...like I'm really going to cook or even grocery shop, but it's a nice thought! Signed my 2 1/2 year old daughter up for a trial ballet class for this upcoming Tues. Now really what am I thinking???? And somehow managed to get the boys on a 3 hour feed schedule, at least for the day. Yes, I am a little wacko and believe I am officially a "Type A", but I would like to rationalize it all as being super organized and having just good timing...should I just call the therapist now?!?

Do I just give up & give in?

So as my pregnancy has progressed, my husband has constantly reminded me that I am eating for three. At times, I think because of where the boys are located, I am constantly full and really don't have much of an appetite, but I guess, no one has informed the scale of this fact! There are days where I just don't each much. I have watched what I have been eating, but have been known to indulge every once in awhile. So when I went to the doctor's office the other day, I was shocked! Shocked that the scale has moved upward in such a dramatic way. At this point, do I just throw caution to the wind and say "what the hell?" I have watched how eating in moderation has not quite worked for me. So I think for the next few weeks...why not? Why not indulge in that delectable cheesecake? Bring on those Doritos's. Oh yes, I can't wait for some heavenly cheesy nachos. Why not order up those fries smothered in chili? Those yummy chocolate eclairs are calling my name. So yes, I will give up and just give in...because in a few weeks or days, the boys will arrive and it will be a whole different ballgame!