Manners no more

Several weeks ago if you came for a visit or stopped by, I was the perfect hostess. Ice tea, coffee, water, something to eat? Something would always be offered. But, now that is no more. If you stop by expect to be handed a baby, a bottle, a diaper, trash or even a vacuum. Then maybe after that is accomplished, you'll get some water. Enter at your own risk!

A little extra attention...NOT!

The other day I had the opportunity to watch ABC's new Show "In the Motherhood". Although I found the show funny at times, there were parts, I just couldn't relate to. As I watched the character played by Megan Mullally, I was fascinated with the depiction that as a pregnant woman she was able to "work the system" to get more attention, cut to the front of lines and even get someone to buy her coffee. I was reminded of this as I stood in line yesterday, waiting for the elevator at my doctors office. Now you have to understand, I am very, very pregnant. Not only pregnant, but pregnant with twins, so I am extra, extra large. As of recently, belly has began to drop, it is now hanging down to my knees, and there is no mistaking me for anything but pregnant. So, I stood in awe, as the elevator doors opened, I was literally caught up in a stampede to enter. I could not get over how many people appeared out of nowhere and ran into the elevator. Apparently they all MUST have been late for their appointments, because why else would there be the need to push a pregnant lady out of their way to get in. As I watched the doors close before my eyes, with me still outside of the elevator, I took a quick assessment of the people who beat me into the elevator. It struck me as funny that they were all fairly young, and looked like they were in relatively good health. I even spotted a few pharmaceutical reps with their rolling suitcases. I guess sales must be bad for them to have felt it important to basically bowl me over to get in. So I must surmise that I am doing something wrong. Maybe my independence is coming through, maybe I need to start complaining out loud, or moaning as if I am in labor. I should call the writers from "In the Motherhood" to find out how I can get all the fringe benefits of being a pregnant whale. All I know is if I want a little extra attention, I need to figure it out quickly, because the boys are due any day now!

Is anything sacred anymore?

The other evening my husband came home from work with a package that had arrived at his office. As he presented the envelope to me, he said, you won't believe this. My curiosity was peaked and I opened the envelope. In it was a book called "Just say NO, to Circumcision". I had to laugh, since I knew who the sender was, and knew it wasn't a joke. So I have to ask, why is it that once a woman becomes pregnant, it no longer becomes a personal thing? But a common bond, to a few out there,who feel that it is their pregnancy too. Why do so many feel that is okay to push their beliefs or advice on you? Is it that they made so many mistakes during their own parenting, that they now feel that this is their opportunity for a "make-up"? On a daily basis I am asked, are you going to have a natural birth or have an epidural? Will you bottle feed or breast feed? Do you have hemorrhoids or stretch marks? Will you co-sleep or have the babies sleep in another room? Most of the questions are followed up with remedies or suggestions. I do have to say this is the first time the circumcision issue has been brought up, and unfortunately, the closer it comes to when my twin boys arrive, I am sure it won't be the last. So if the people I meet feel that it's okay to express their strong beliefs about my pregnancy and my future decisions, can I express mine right back? Can I ask a man if he was circumcised, and then suggest a book that may make him feel more secure in the gym locker room, if he wasn't? Can I ask the older woman if she has hemorrhoids, and not expect to get smacked across the face? Can I tell the woman in the bad marriage, that she should leave her husband and he's is a cheat? Can I tell the man who is a workaholic, that he should go home and spend quality time with his family, before it's too late? Can I tell another that she lets her daughter wear her skirts too short? I don't think so....I just wish people would think twice before they speak. Is that too much to ask?!? Apparently so.

I would love to give all the people out there, who have made inappropriate comments, a wonderful gift. It's a great book called, "Emily Post's Etiquette.