10x's in 3 1/2 hours!

I really haven't found time yet to get to the gym. I have gone twice since the twins were born and I keep beating myself up, with that fact that I still can't fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans. As I found myself exhausted, and my arms sore and my quads feeling like they had gotten a workout, I started to wonder if maybe all this "mom" stuff that I am doing is actually contributing to my weight loss. So as I thought about my day, I came to the revalation that in a period of 3 1/2 hours I had put the twins in and out of the car 10 times. The reality is that I had picked up the 20lb carseats with my 14lb boys tucked safetly inside 20 times total and that's not including chasing my 3 year old. That's madness! Now how could that possibly be, well I'll tell you...
8:45am- Put all three kids in the car. (1)
9:10am- Take all three kids out of the car. Walk my daughter to class. (2)
9:20am- Put the boys back in the car. (3)
9:50am- Take the boys out of the car. Visit my husband at work, show off the twins. (4)
10:40am- Put the boys back in the car. Drive to the doctors office. (5)
10:50am-Take the boys out. Visit the doctor for their check up. (6)
11:30 am- Put the boys back in the car. Drive to my daughter's school. (7)
11:45am- Take the boys out. Get my daughter. (8)
12pm- Put all the kids back in the car. Drive home (9)
12:15pm- Home, take all the kids out! (10)

Wow, now wonder I am tired!!!!

I can't let go....

Yesterday my daughter's Fall Preschool tuition bill arrived. I think a majority of Mom's out there would be jumping for joy with the prospect of having 3-5hours of free time. I on the other hand, burst into tears of the reality of "missing" my daughter for that long. As I read the list of supplies that my daughter would need, I felt a lump in my throat and the tears started rolling. My husband looked at me with pity and I started to tell him all the reasons my daughter did not need to go to school. We reached a compromise that she would go in the fall and it she didn't like it I could pull her out. I was overcome with relief...but what if she likes it???? What will I do!! I know I have the twins but she's still my baby:(

I love my Wii Fit

As a mom of three (I still can't believe it!), I find it hard to cram in any time for myself. If I do have any free time, I usually am doing dishes, laundry, cleaning or showering and not really doing anything fun. But recently I broke out my Wii and started working out with my 3yr old. I absolutely love it. It is a good way for us to spend time together, laughing and having fun as we do the hula hoop or go for a "run" together on the Wii Fit. It has become the only way I can sneak in a little exercise and my daughter loves laughing at/with me while I jump around like a mad woman. I have fallen in love...with my Wii Fit!!!!

It's all about choices...

Overnight, I became a mom of three. Going from a mom of one, to a mom of three has been challenging. I was prepared for the fatigue, the constant diapers, burping and laundry but what I wasn't prepared for was the emotional guilt I feel each time I have to chose which child I am going to attend to first. I was advised to go to the oldest child first because she would remember what you do. I have tried my best to give each one the attention they need and in general everyone gets my attention when they need it most. At times I feel everything is just a little too methodical and not spontaneous enough. I go from feeding, changing, burping one baby to the next and then running after my oldest. There isn't enough cuddle time during the day for the babies. It makes me sad to think back to when my oldest was born and how I spent every minute of the day snuggling and fussing over her. I feel that I don't give the twins enough individual time. And for me I am guilt ridden each time I have to choose who to feed first. Of course I go to the one who is crying the loudest and as I feed one, I try to rub the other's head. But it breaks my heart each time one is crying and the other is looking up at me with his big eyes, in despair. As I snuggle & feed the one, I am always am looking at the clock trying to figure how much time it will take me before I can get to the other. This is not how it should be, but it's my reality. I know I am doing my best, but at times I feel it's just not enough and once I add my daughter in the mix, it just makes me feel even worse. I know that this will be a constant battle for me. One that I will need to continually work on. It's very hard to except, but I do get that it is all about the choices...

My personal best!

So it was off to Mommy & Me Spanish class this morning. Sometimes I get up and am so tired, I wonder how will I ever survive the day. Thanks to a lot of caffeine and the fact that I have no other choice, I just continue moving forward. So this morning, being a little more tired then usual, somehow I managed to get all the kids in the car in less then 15 minutes and made it to my daughter's class only 5 minutes late. Yes, that was my personal best so far. Now being the overachiever that I am, I decided to make a game out of it, because if you can't have fun in life, what's the point! My goal is to see how fast I can get the kids in & out of the car, to and from without any tears. Can I do it in 10 minutes and make it to class on time? We'll see...

It's all doable...

I know people think I am a loon! It has now become a joke when people come over and notice that everything is labeled and sorted. Every basket in the nursery is labeled; burp clothes, onesies, mittens, booties, diapers & wipes. The toy room is organized beyond belief and my daughter's room is the same. I don't even want to discuss what I've done in the garage...yes, call the therapist NOW! I really don't know when this obsession of mine started. I just know that is has become worse and worse over the years. If you ask anyone in my family if they ever expected this behavior or odd habit from me, they would say absolutely NOT. You have to understand that my entire time throughout high school and college, I was unable to open a blind or a window in my bedroom. Why, you may ask? Well, it's because I was a sloppy teenager and never hung anything or put anything away. So it was impossible to make it to the windows without stepping on something and I just never cared. So I have gone from one extreme to the next. Can you say MANIC?!?

I am finding that this craziness has finally served a purpose. Because of this crazy skill, I am finding each day manageable. Everything I do is very methodical, but it is the only way I am surviving. I have my boys on a 3hr feeding schedule and fortunately my daughter's schedule seems to fit right in. This morning, I woke up at 7am and showered. From there the craziness began. I fed, burped and changed my one son at 7:45am, did the next one at 8:20am, got my daughter out of bed at 8:45am. Bathed and got her ready. Had the whole crew downstairs and ready for breakfast by 9:15am. Decided I needed a Starbucks run by 10am. Packed each one, one by one into the car, drove to the Starbucks drive thru by 10:20am, was home by 10:55am. Did the 11am feed for the boys, followed by tummy time with each one, all while helping my daughter color and paint. Put the boys down for a nap. Made pigs in a blanket with my daughter for lunch, read to her in my bed, got her ready for her nap. Had her down by 1:20pm. Put a load of laundry in, folded the stuff in the dryer. Started the 2pm fed for my boys. Put them on their playmats for some stimulation, folded more laundry. Put the boys in their swings. Wiped down the kitchen, called a friend. I got my daughter out of bed from her nap at 4:15pm. Read her a book, put a Leap Frog video in the DVD for her to watch while I did the 5pm fed. At 5:30pm, my husband arrived, he made my daughter dinner, while I cleaned up. We all sat down to eat, my daughter with her grilled cheese and my husband & I with a meal that I made during yesterday's nap time. My husband gave my daughter a bath while I played with the twins. We switched off and I read my daughter a book and put her in bed at 7pm. Had 30 minutes of alone time my my husband. Started getting the twins bath ready. With the help of my husband washed one twin at 7:45pm and the other at 7:50pm. Did the 8pm feed. Had both boys down by 8:40pm. Folded more laundry. With my husband relaxing on the couch watching some nasty UFC fight, I retreated to the bedroom for some sleep. My husband did the 11pm feed so I could sleep and I just finished the 2am feed. So yes, it's all doable. Thank goodness for my organization skills because I'd never make it through the day. I guess a higher power stepped in and made me this crazy structured freak because if it wasn't for that I'd never survive! Well, back to bed I go...because it all begins again in a few hours:)

I am in LOVE!!!!

After months of waiting, my baby boys made their appearance on Tues April 7th. I feel so blessed that they are both healthy. Somehow both weighted in at almost 6lbs each, which is great for twins and made me feel good about my massive weight gain. At least now I can declare that I was carrying 12lbs of baby and the rest, well can that be water weight?!?

It is simply amazing to look into their small little angelic faces and recognize how vulnerable they are and that my husband & I are responsible for their well being and safety. It seems like such a daunting task and all I want to do is wrap them up in my arms and never let let go!

Last night, my husband went home to stay the evening with our daughter and I was alone with the babies in my room. I have to say that I was and still am on a "mommy high", was blissfully carrying both babies in my arms, rocking them and just totally enjoying our first true private time. Then it dawned on me that I was alone and could I really do this? I started to feel overwhelmed! As quickly as I felt that dreaded feeling, was as quickly as I snapped out of it. After all, they are just two tiny babies. I knew there was no other choice but to rise up to the occasion and to be a Mom. Luck was on my side and the boys were great. I was able to feed, change and burp both boys on my own for most of the evening. I do have to admit I was "christened' by my one son because I forgot to cover his privates and like a fire hose on the loose, pee pee went every where! I felt like a first time mom all over again. Once this happened and he was covered in his pee, as was everything else, I did ask for help and quickly buzzed the nurse! Thank goodness for her because at that point my other son needed to be changed...